Chaos.

Chaos. It's a word that as a mother you become all too familiar with. From sun up, to sun down our days are very chaotic. Mornings are full of "Mom I want (enter milk or food here)" and "Mom Jace looked at me" accompanied by sweet snuggles and the "I don't want to wake up” whining. Now throw getting ready for school into the mix and it becomes a whole new level of hectic chaos, constant glances at your watch, and scrambling to get everyone out of the door on time. I don't care how prepared you think you are, the mornings are always chaotic.

We are expected as mothers to always have it together. We are supposed to have answers for every question, spotless houses, laundry that is folded and put away, and meals prepped and ready to go. Baskets of unfolded laundry are a sign that we aren't doing enough, grumpy kids means we let our moods effect them or did something wrong to put them in that mood. Bad behavior in school means we aren't teaching them how to behave at home, the list goes on and on. As mothers we take all of this on our shoulders based off of a picture of what society expects a good mom to be. Chaos isn't in the plans if you're a good mom because you have everything perfectly in place all the time. Well I am here to tell you that that picture needs to be torn up, burned, and tossed the heck out.

Chaos is our reality, and it is allowed to be. Running from school to practices, squeezing in homework, pulling clothes out of a laundry basket that is overflowing yet not folded. All of these things are OKAY. Instead of worrying about the constant pressure to have everything perfect we should be able to enjoy our kids. We should be able to play with them and be there with them instead of just near them doing chores. Yet if we don't have the perfectly clean house, or dishes in the sink it somehow means we are not only failing as mothers but as wives too. But why?

Think of it this way. When you go to a friends house for a play date or even just to hang out, do you care if her house is spotless? Do you care if she has laundry piled up on the couch waiting to be folded? No, because it gives you comfort that it's not just you. It relieves some of the pressure that is forever building up on your shoulders because you realize you are not alone. Read that again, you are NOT ALONE. And if you do care about the laundry or mess, you don't belong here reading this.

Judgement. Why do we do it? Why do we let a society of predominantly men tell us how we should be raising our kids, or what the house should look like? Why do we as mothers turn up our noses and judge other moms when we know exactly how hard it is? You will notice a theme in a lot of these posts, and it's that we as moms need to learn to stick together. We need to learn how to support each other instead of judging. We all need to fall apart sometimes, to look like a hobo and it just be fine. Because guess what? It is fine!

A very close friend of mine actually helped me face my anxiety and really start to accept that everything does not have to be perfect. The house doesn't have to be spotless, I don't have to be spotless. She helped me realize that I did not need to vacuum twice a day, or have everything perfectly in place. Perfection is not a demand to be a mother, and neither is having the cleanest or biggest house. Social media has turned this world into a place where it has become all about what you own or how you appear. It has put an unnecessary pressure on an already impossible job. So, I bring it back to chaos. Chaos, is okay. Chaos means that we are doing something right. When it doesn't feel right, look at the faces on your precious munchkins. Are they smiling? Are they building memories of laughter and happiness? Or do you think they are building memories of laundry and dishes? We need to prioritize what is truly important, and chase the chaos. So pick the booger out of your daughters teeth like I did this morning, because it's fine. I'm fine, and everything is fine.